Many years ago, my inner wisdom asked the universe for a teacher. One who embodied all of herself and more. Who could walk me through the process of recovering my whole self.
I prayed for a keeper of secrets, a keeper of divine wisdom. I knew there was more to be explored about the earthly and spiritual realms than I was consciously aware of. I met several teachers who embodied courage, wisdom, and vision, yet something was missing in my work with them. I needed to go deeper to integrate my mind, body, and soul into one. In all my searching, one day I found her.
She was teaching an advanced class, Psychological Perspectives, part of second semester massage school. As soon as Dr. Nixon began talking about Alexander Lowen, chakras, bodywork and the psychological influence touch has on the psyche, I knew she was the teacher I had been praying for. Many others appeared as well, yet at this stage she held the essence of what my body, mind and soul were craving. Dr. Nixon was known for working with trauma. Not just on a mental level, but from an integrated one, including bodywork and energy-work. I made an appointment.
In our first meeting, after listening to me discuss my early life and my current longings and struggles, she suggested I may be looking for the Divine Mother. I didn’t understand. I had no awareness or comprehension of what the Divine Mother was, nor the Goddess or Sacred Feminine. She was, in fat, elusive to me. I only knew of the prostitute from the Bible. The stories of the leper’s being cast out scared me, and I never went any further into the Bible.
Unfortunately many women and young girls have the same experience, while many men have no sense of the feminine as sacred and divine. Instead the feminine is portrayed as sexual, as objects, dolls, and prostitutes, separating women, and the collective, from our true inheritance–balance, bliss, and divine sacred natural law and wisdom.
For me, during this time, the doorway, held with great love and respect, opened to meet the Goddess.
My dreams increased ten-fold. As I was processing..
As I embarked on my healing path, I discovered a resonant relationship to the Divine Feminine, introduced inadvertently to me in early childhood, and reintroduced again when I began working with Dr. Nixon (used to be Torrenzano) to heal and recover from early childhood traumas, multiple addictions, and my mother’s death.